i’ve locked myself in a room i can’t get out of
with a dog hellbent on tearing me apart
how long will i last
how many more are going to die
YOU REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?
LIKE YOU REALLY DON’T?
CLEARLY THE BITCH YOU GOT ON THE SIDE KNOWS WHAT’S UP.
I MEAN LET’S BE 100% REAL YOU THOUGHT I’D LET THIS SHIT SLIDE AND NOT SAY ANYTHING.
YOU KEEP EVERYTHING ON THE DOWNLOW THINKING THAT I’D NEVER FIND OUT.
I WASN’T YOUR “CLOSE FRIEND” NO EXCUSE YOU I WAS YOUR FUCKING GIRLFRIEND.
AND TO THINK I ACTUALLY THOUGHT ABOUT MARRYING YOU.
HAHAHA THAT’S A GREAT JOKE.
YOU ARE SO FULL OF SHIT LIKE NO GOODBYE.
BITCH YOU CAN SWERVE.
I never loved you anyways.
Have fun with your new girl and wow she is ugly as fuck anyways damn.
I thought I could have done it last night.
I could have said goodbye but you knew I wouldn’t.
You knew I wasn’t going to be able to let go.
Even after I said how much I had fallen for you.
So now I’m stuck in this terrible cycle.
Loving you then hating you for being with her and back to the constant pain of being alone.
And lets not forget the jealousy either.
This is fucking pathetic.
I want out, now.
You were there when I needed someone, you were everything I needed.
Now you’re gone because I’m a fucking idiot.
I shouldn’t have fallen for you.
Now I’m gonna suffer.
I knew pushing you away wasn’t going to be easy.
I’m lonely now, it really does hurt.
I guess this is what I deserve.
You’re not even mine and I want you all to myself.
This is terrible.
I’ve never wanted someone more then I want you.
I’m not even sure how it happened but damn.
I want to be selfish and keep you from the rest of the world.
The only problem is you’re in love.
And it’s not with me.
I guess my only regret is not meeting you sooner.
Maybe the future will be different, who knows.
I have no doubt I’m the monster I see in the mirror every morning.
I can only hope my life will be enough of a sacrifice to set me free.
I don’t want to have these horrid thoughts and do horrible things.
I want to be free of this terrible world.
Even after knowing my sister for literally YEARS I’m still jealous of her.
Why is it always her?
It’s like I’m always standing in her shadow.
I’m just there.
No one pays attention to me unless it involves her.
And everyone wants her and not me.
It’s never me….
Why is it that the people I want the most attention from are wrapped up in their own romances?
I get so clingy and possessive about that now.
I want them all to myself.
Just me and no one else.
It makes me sad but at the same time I know I shouldn’t be thinking about that.